


Rules of Mentordom

by Star_Fata



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Justice League, Justice League of America (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-04
Updated: 2013-03-04
Packaged: 2017-12-04 07:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/708179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_Fata/pseuds/Star_Fata
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The twenty rules of Mentordom various members of the Justice League of America probably should have followed more closely.<br/>In other words, the Top Secret Document posted on The Watchtower database.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rules of Mentordom

Rules of Mentordom, by the JLA

1\. It is advisable to take in either a parentless or parent-lite child between the ages of twelve and sixteen to be your sidekick, preferably parentless, as there is no chance that the child’s guardian will suddenly decide to become more involved in their life and find out your secret identity.

 

2\. It is advisable to have a secret identity so you don’t get sued for Child Endangerment, especially if you and your sidekick are ‘non-powers’.

 

3\. You must spend at least three hours a week with your sidekick, at least one of which must be spent training. Your sidekick must be prepared to fight before you send them into battle. However, sidekicks aren’t just soldiers, and you need to remember that. Occasionally, you may even need to remind them of this.

 

4\. Your sidekick is allowed to alter their costume anyway they choose, within reason. Sadly, this reason does not extend to their first costume in their ‘post-sidekick’ identity.

 

5\. If you must leave your sidekick, you are to make sure they have adequate back-up if needed, and someone to look after them at home.

 

6\. It is inadvisable to kick your sidekick out of your home. It tends to make the other heroes hate you.

 

7\. If a teen-hero team is formed, it is in your best interests to let your sidekick join. They’ll sulk for months and then join anyway if you don’t.

 

8\. Advise your sidekick on keeping a secret identity for at least three months in a ‘partnership’ with another hero, or upon joining a team. This means if the other hero turns out to be less than trustworthy, there is less chance of it rebounding upon your sidekick’s civilian life.

 

9\. It is beyond pointless to attempt to interfere with your sidekick’s love life, even if they are dating the spawn of pure evil. They’ll just make references to Romeo and Juliet, meant to be together, and continue dating. And, if(when) it goes wrong, they will blame you.

 

10\. It is a horrendously bad idea to interfere with your sidekick’s love life, even if they are dating someone they are now ‘heroically’ related to. They’ll just team up on you and put your wardrobe and all items of clothing on the moon, and give pictures of you searching half naked for said clothing to your teammates.

 

11\. It is advisable to ensure that your sidekick never meets your teammates. Teenagers are not above emotional blackmail, and they will recruit some poor boy-scout into doing it for them if they feel it’s necessary.

 

12\. Adopting your sidekick may inspire paternal/maternal feelings. Ensure it doesn’t mess up the team.

 

13\. If your sidekick moves on to a new identity, you must gain their permission before giving their old identity to a new sidekick. This is especially true if they moved onto a new identity because you fired them.

 

14\. Don’t yell at a second/third generation sidekick for messing up a legacy when they make mistakes. Their teammates will hate you for all eternity, even if said sidekick forgives you. No wait, especially if said sidekick forgives you.

 

15\. If you make a serious mistake with your sidekick, such as advised against in the above rules, their teammates will never forgive you. It’ll take them the better half of a decade before they can talk to you civilly, forgiveness is more than you can even dream of.

 

16\. Remember, upon joining a team, your sidekick will defend their teammates, even if they have to yell at/fight with living legends. (Examples, Young Justice-Arrowette, The Teen Titans/Justice League showdown). It’s best to assign a chaperone and butt out.

 

17\. There will be many things that only a sidekick could possibly get into. Sometimes, it’s better not to ask. Trust me, sometimes you really don’t want to know.

 

18\. If your sidekick loses a friend in battle, do your best to be there for them, and stop them from doing anything stupid, such as joining a cult in an attempt to resurrect said friend.

 

19\. Leave clear instructions on what is to happen to your legacy in case you die. Update it regularly in the event of illegitimate assassin brats coming out of the woodwork. It’ll save a lot of people from major headaches.

 

20\. It’s a good idea to keep this list away from your sidekick, but try to keep them in the loop on major events.


End file.
